23 Comments

  1. I found this post on Pinterest. I know I’m late, but I have to tell you, as a mother of 5, this post has me bawling my eyes out. My kids range in age from 22 (and married) down to 3. Motherhood is simultaneously the best and hardest thing I have ever done. Thank you for this beautiful post. It spoke straight to my heart. God is so good to have directed me to your site!
    Many blessings,
    April

    1. I don’t think you’re late at all. ? I’m so glad it encouraged you!!

  2. Kayse,
    Last night I came home in tears to my husband and I didn’t know why I was so sad. We talked it out and figured out that I was seeking affirmation from everything around me – and last night I didn’t get any – from anywhere or anyone and I was totally deflated.
    God broke me last night so I could realize this issue and address it.
    I really didn’t know where to start, what to think about or how to go forward without trying to get affirmation from outside of God …and here’s your post. It was perfect in it’s wording and timing 🙂
    Thank you so much,
    Katie

  3. This is so encouraging, thank you!!! Absolutely agree that the world sets us up for self validation and then…motherhood is not about us 🙂 SO much to learn. This week I just read Isaiah 40 verse 11 and thought about it in connection with Christian motherhood, so I am so encouraged to see it here too.

  4. I sit here at 4am with my sick, congested 5 month old across my lap reading your wonderful blog. Over the past couple of years I’ve struggled with God’s plans for my career. I have a Masters in Psychology but He has closed that door for me repeatedly. Now I work full time at a job I don’t really love. I’m about to return full time after maternity leave and all I want to do is quit so I can be home to raise my munchkin. I’m feeling more and more that to do that is God’s calling for me… simply to be mom. And it’s soooo hard to jump in with faith that He will provide for our family if I do. Right now I’m on a path I never planned and I feel like I’m gong to fail daily. I’m trying to start a blog in hopes that will allow me to quit my job. But I feel hopeless about it all, even though I can feel it in my core that this is God’s plan for me. This blog is everything I needed to hear. Thank you soooo much! And sorry about the novel.

    1. Hi Kameron!
      Hope you are well and getting to be with your sweet baby. Your post touched me and I wanted to reach out.
      Reading “In Praise of Stay at Home Moms” helped seal the deal for me.
      Sending momma love your way,
      Shawna

  5. I definitely needed to hear this today! I have played this over in my mind for weeks or maybe months now. Sometimes in just tears when my husband comes home from work or from being out of town. I often feel the “need” to work and feel worthless. But I also know everything I am giving to my children daily could not be replaced by somebody else.

    Thank you so much for writing this!

  6. Hi Kayse,

    Thank you so much for writing this. It was exactly what I needed to hear!

    xoxo,
    Natalie

  7. Thanks for the post. I shared it with a friend who was struggling with this when we talked today. Thanks so much!

  8. Oh man. This is beyond perfect. You captured exactly what I have felt for almost 2 years. (My son will be 2 in October.) Like you, I was “good” at school and received plenty of praise throughout my life for academic accomplishments. I made it through nursing school, graduating with honors, and was feeling pretty highly about myself. And then I got married a month after graduating and was pregnant before we celebrated our first anniversary. A high risk pregnancy that ended in me leaving my job to be on bedrest and becoming a stay-at-home mom shortly thereafter. I wanted to be home with my son, but I had no idea how hard, and sometimes isolating, it can be. I get the comments from random people about when I plan to go back to work, and the condescending “pat on the head” looks, like what I do is cute, but not meaningful or important. A pretty significant contrast from the reactions I got when people found out I was a nurse. But the vocation of mother has humbled me. It doesn’t feed my ego, for sure, but it fills my heart. It has made me redefine what success means to me in this phase of my life. Right now, my roles as wife and mother are my primary focus, and I believe that God will use this time to mold me into the woman He’s calling me to be.

  9. wow!! thank you for hitting it right THERE!! even though my kids are older..all teens..this STILL applies!! maybe even more so…one day they will look back and hopefully give me a hug and say thanks Mom for all you did for me…even just a little acknowledgment(?) i don’t know I guess as long as they make it too adulthood in one piece and can live/work on their own then the hubby and I have done our job?

  10. I really needed to hear this. When you become a stay at home mom after being immersed in school and college and you get feedback, and then you feel insignificant as a mom. It’s a thankless job sometimes but a great blessing and opportunity. Very well written. I could tell it was from your heart. God bless you.

    1. You aren’t insignificant!! I’m glad this encouraged you. Hang in there momma, you’re doing a good work!

  11. I definitely needed to hear this today, and not just so I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. But also so that I can have the energy and stamina to start the day well, to not dread all the needs I will be asked to fulfill or all the shaping of little hearts, over and over and over again, the same as every other day this week, with nothing substantial to show for it at the end of the day. The house is still a mess, the calls still not made…
    Sometimes my husband infers that my job is simple, hard maybe but not difficult, and that I should be accomplishing more, have more to show for my days. I fall into the trap of feeling like if I don’t have something concrete to show that my day with my girls was wasted, and this was great to remind myself of the higher calling. I was great at school too, and really liked it, and this new job of mom to two little girls with special needs (medically complex) is much harder to ace.
    I try all day every day to research and find the thing that will help them, whether it be the healthiest diet or the natural remedies or the parenting trick or the right therapies, so that I can have something to say, look what I learned /found /implemented /did HELPED. I made a difference. A noticeable improvement in their lives, or in our daily struggle.
    But now today I feel like I can just be their mama, and THAT is the difference I will make. God didn’t make me their mom because I’m a good advocate or researcher or teacher… He made me their mom because they need me. Who I am, who God made me.
    Sorry for the longest comment ever, but thank you for helping me to work this out in my heart.

  12. I think every mom must feel this way from time to time. Whether she works or not, at some point she will question herself, she will wonder if she is contributing enough.
    It was such a pleasure reading this today. It touched home. I hope you can go over what you wrote and read it as another mother would and know in your heart you are very well equipped for your purpose here on earth.
    Thank you for what you do!

  13. Such a beautiful post! I really needed this today – it’s like you took the thoughts right out of my head. Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us 🙂

  14. Another excellent article!
    When I entered the blogging world, I didn’t expect the tension it would cause in my heart. Before that, I was content with not being “seen.” Now I find myself connecting everything I do as a mom to something I could blog about. Part of it is just natural, but part of it is that search for significance. The amazing thing is how much more gratifying it is to truly connect with my kids and keep my heart focused toward home.

    And what you said here, “Not spending my life pursuing my own greatness, but stepping aside so others can see how great God is?”
    What a relief! Because there really is no greatness in me. Promoting my own greatness is a useless endeavor. (Like trying to stack marbles, as my dad would say.) But showing my kids the greatness of God–now that’s a worthy pursuit!

  15. Stephanie Callahan says:

    Exactly what I needed to read this morning! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  16. I feel that the enemy has tried so hard to distract women from our purpose as mom’s and wives by making us think it’s insignificant and having us chase other dreams instead. Of course, God sometimes put other purposes and dreams on our hearts too, but it’s so easy to forget our most important role.Elizabeth George has been doing a lot of ministry on this and I’ve been loving it! Thanks for sharing Kayse!

  17. Thank you so much for those encouraging real words, Friend. I needed them so much this morning. You were right I wish we could have sat down together with a cup of tea and shared. In fact, that was my prayer journal request this morning to have a friend to sit down and share life with. Then what do u know I opened my email and there you were waiting to share with me. May God continue to bless you and your family as you use and cultivate the gift of writing and being real about life He has given you. Thank you again!!!

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