For the Momma Who Takes On Too Much
The momma who takes on too much? That’s me.
Maybe it’s you too.
I’m trying to focus on discipline this month, and that can easily turn into a list of things to do. There’s a lot of areas where I can improve in the discipline category – devotion, exercise, eating right, parenting, blogging, writing, housekeeping, homeschooling, mail sorting…
That’s a lot of areas to get better in. A lot of areas to work on. A lot of things to add to my to-do list.
Add on top of that the fact that next week is Jon’s last week of grad school, which means all of his projects are due, including his capstone. You know, the project that determines whether or not you get that Master’s degree you worked so hard for? So his every minute is either spent at work or spent on homework and that leaves me, well, spent.
I’ve been trying to do All The Things. And they are good things. But they are a lot. And they are just things.
And I am spent.
This two-kid game? It’s a lot more work than play. And keeping up a house? Well, it actually takes a lot of time. And cooking dinner every night? The requires planning ahead and actually cooking.
And I’ve been trying to add in new things. Because my mind thinks I can handle more things than the hours allow. My mind speeds ahead and comes up with projects and ideas and jumps in full speed ahead. Because the bills need to be paid, and I think of ways to help with that. And I want this blog to be better, and I think of ways to make that happen. And homeschooling STILL hasn’t really started here, so I develop better plans for that. And a new eBook, and essential oil stuff, and, and, and…
And then I’m spread so thin that I can’t even think clearly enough to have a conversation.
Hi, my name is Kayse, and I compulsively take on too much. I’m sure there’s a deeper issue there that I need to address, but to be honest, I’m too tired to think it through.
I wonder if you’re in the same boat. I wonder if the mundane of home life sometimes feels like not enough. I wonder if you feel pressure to do more, to be more.
Maybe we all just sit down for a minute and take a deep breath. Maybe we put aside the “urgent” and get back to the important. Maybe we take a good hard look at what actually IS important, and pursue that.
Because the truth is, the mundane really is enough. It might feel mundane to us, but I don’t think it feels mundane to our kids. Or to our husbands. The life we live at home, it matters. The kid-raising and the cleaning and the cooking, it might not be flashy, but it’s glorious.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my mom lately, and what I remember most about her is that she was there. Whenever I needed anything, she was there. To kiss bruises and bandage knees, to make cookies and share a treat, to talk and work out life – my mom was there.
And that was more than enough. It was everything to me. It still is.
Maybe we mommas who take on too much need to lay it all down. Maybe we need to seek the Lord wholeheartedly before we pick anything back up, and see what He’s got to say about it all. Maybe we don’t pick anything back up, and we just breathe for a while.
Maybe it’s just me. But I’m learning that the area I need the most discipline in is this one – learning how to let go of the pressure to do more than just this wife and mommy business.
This wife and mommy business is enough.
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If you haven’t already picked it up, I highly recommend the book Hands Free Mama. Rachel Macy Stafford is an inspirational and honest writer. More importantly, she’s a mom who talks about focusing on what really matters. That’s what I want to do as a parent. I know you do too. It’s a great read for all that free time you have. 😉
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Kayse Pratt serves Christian women as a writer + designer, creating home + life management resources that help those women plan their days around what matters most. She’s created the most unique planner on the market, helped over 400 women create custom home management plans, and works with hundreds of women each month inside her membership, teaching them how to plan their days around what matters most. When she’s not designing printables or writing essays, you’ll find Kayse homeschooling her kids, reading a cheesy novel with a giant cup of tea in hand, or watching an old show from the 90’s with her husband, who is her very best friend.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and especially this week. I have four girls under 5, I work (part time) selling Jamberry, and I’m really struggling lately to juggle just that, let alone keeping up on housework and putting food on the table. I don’t have any advice, but it’s nice to know it’s not just me. I know I take on too much. I need a break! LOL
Saw this retweeted by one of my followers and I raised my hand up high because I too am a compulsive ‘take on too much stuff’ person.
Some of it for me is people pleasing, some is I want to pay the bills (and look cool to my family – supermom) and the other may simply be habit. It is something I’ve always done and watched my mum do growing up.
Mundane is beautiful and once it is gone – that is usually when you miss it. Learning this the hard way.
I am SO guilty of taking on too much. And when I do, I find myself overwhelmed and frustrated. And that leads to me calling myself names because I end up feeling as though my best is never good enough. Instead of looking at all the things I actually accomplish on a day-to-day basis, I focus on what didn’t get done. I usually give myself zero credit. And when that happens, I end up not liking myself very much. That makes my boyfriend upset. He is a rare one who actually gets how busy our lives are. (By our I mean those like you and me who blog, parent, etc.) He is constantly in awe of everything I do. And most of the time all I can see is my failures.
I really need to get better about blaming myself and realizing I’m NOT Superwoman.
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Thank you so much!! I really appreciate that!
I appreciate your honesty here. The pressure to be “more” than a wife and mom makes for very unhappy and anxious women.
What has helped me to stay grounded is to think of my priorities like a layered pyramid. The most important is the foundation of who I am and takes up most of my time {the widest layer}. Everything else that is laid on top of that foundation should take up less and less time the higher up the pyramid it goes. It gets skewed at times for me, but keeping that pyramid in my mind helps me to check my motives.
Your words hit deep. Thanks for the reminder.
~ Ferly
Gifts We Use {to grow, love and serve}
Hopping over from Mama Moments Monday! What a great post. 🙂 You’re right, the mundane *is* important. It’s hard to get through the days sometimes, feeling like a slave to everyone’s needs, but it’s in those moments that we build our family and support them. Love this. Thank you!
This is one of those posts where you read it and think to yourself ‘Whew…I’m not the only one.’ I, too, am a chronic take-on-too-much-er. Everyone is constantly telling me to ‘take it easy’, but to be honest, I don’t know if I know how, lol. I might just have to check out that book…
I loved this post. I tend to take on more projects and to-dos than I can handle too. It’s good to remember what the best things are to focus on. Thanks for the reminder!
Did you read my mind? This is exactly why I haven’t been blogging as much (well…at all). I just had enough. Something had to give and if I look at my priorities it was low on the list. In fact it wasn’t even on my initial list which told me a lot.
I love this Kayse. Please know you are not alone!!
Everything about this post speaks to my heart.
Can I be honest about something? Just yesterday I was feeling so down and discouraged because I just can’t do it all! I was thinking “How does Kayse do it all?”
I can barely blog and be a mom. You’re about the release another ebook 🙂
Thank you for sharing your heart today. You spoke to mine!
I am also reading Hands Free Mama and it is really convicting me. Trying to find balance. Is there such a thing??
Ever
I’m reading that book now. Totally appropriate for moms like us. 🙂 Hope you have a great week!
ps I love your family photo, it is gorgeous. xx
I am always thinking up great things to do with my home schooled kids that takes away time from the house which makes the house a disaster which stresses me out which means I do it in the evenings which makes me tired and takes me away from my husband which is daft but we are having fun in the day!!
I have started doing something I should have done yonks ago, training my kids and getting everyone to help by assigning tasks. Even if it is only laying the table or bringing down washing or tidying their rooms it takes stuff off me. The last few nights everything has been very companionable, hubby washing up as I and the kids cook, kids sorting drinks and cutlery and plates and we have all enjoyed it. I even taught my 8 yro to make my coffee this week, with a watchful eye on the kettle. This makes her so proud. I am incorporating life skills into our home school and we are all benefiting from it. x
I love that idea! Emmy helps me with the dishes and laundry but that’s it. Can’t wait till the kids are older and I can incorporate that!